if u askin about my bra size u better be planning on takin ur ass down to Victoria’s Secret to buy me some nice bras

(via 0f-m1ce-and-squidgy)


"he looks weird on this pic but i swear he is hot" a novel by me

(via 0f-m1ce-and-squidgy)


That moment when you’re eating something and start to hiccup, and then hiccup just as you swallow something and it feels like satan is entering your body.


omfg my parents, brother and me went to our cousins house and we were all watching Modern Family together and when Gloria came on the screen my uncle got really excited and said ” oh boy, I love Sofia Viagra” and i am still on the floor


You know when a movie gets really shitty reviews from critics but you watch it and you’re just like idk man i liked it.


I’d love to have a chat with the asshole that came up with the skip limit on 8tracks.


the police officer looks down at his tummy and says “you are under a vest” and giggles to himself

(Source: bepeu, via sassyavengers)


Don’t wish death upon your enemies wish for them to have this for the rest of their life 


(via teenscoolest)

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